


Taking Advantage

by LizRambler



Series: Sleepovers [3]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Sleepovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-26 15:56:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21376705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LizRambler/pseuds/LizRambler
Summary: The Doctor is a silly drunk.
Relationships: Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler
Series: Sleepovers [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1531835
Comments: 6
Kudos: 100





	Taking Advantage

(After the book: The Feast of the Drowned)

“What happened to you?” Rose asked as the Doctor giggled. The Tardis was a welcome relief. Rose had been half holding the Doctor up on the walk back from the restaurant. She leaned him up against their home and resisted the urge to ruffle his hair. The silly grin on his face was endearing if worrying. “You saved London, well the Earth really from becoming fish food and me from becoming well, an aquatic zombie and you were fine! Fine.”

“I am fine,” he insisted. He giggled. Slapped a hand over his mouth, eyes wide. “Fine.” he reiterated through his fingers.

“You’re really not,” Rose told him as the key slotted into the lock and the door opened. “If I didn’t watch you drink a whole bottle of gin once and stay standing, I’d swear you were drunk.”

The Doctor scoffed, sliding a bit farther down the Tardis.

“On your feet sailor, into the ship.” Rose waved a hand at the interior.

The Doctor kicked off the wall of the Tardis and strolled into the interior before pitching against the console. He grabbed it for support. “Blimey, is this thing in flight? I haven’t hit any of the blue switches yet, or done the thing with the lever. Everything in here is rocking.” He glanced up at the ceiling. He reached out to touch some buttons and Rose reached him just in time to slap his hands away. Hurt, he reached out again and she slapped him away again.

“Think,” she insisted, “do I need to take you to the infirmary medical bay thing? Also, do we have one or either of those things? And if not, what sort of doctor, do you need, use?” Rose knew she was sounding nervous but it hadn’t been too long ago that the Doctor had spent almost a whole day in a coma. “How can I help you?”

“Well, you can stop slapping at me for starters,” he groused.

“You can’t be the designated driver right now, can you?” Rose glanced at the console and was pleased to see none of the dematerialization lights were on. “We could end up in Norway, or in between two walls or fall into a sun or something, with you giggling and half incoherent. Think. What happened? We said goodbye to Mum, Mickey, Keisha, and Jay…”

“I remember,” the Doctor snapped. He began sliding down the part of the console he was leaning on. Rose moved to support him. He wrapped an arm snuggly around her middle. “Then we went for chips on Piffle.” Or something that sounded like ‘Piffle.’ “We’re on Piffle!” he announced merrily. 

“Are you allergic to the air or something? Is that a thing that can happen?” Rose turned so she could look into his eyes. They seemed a bit glassy and the pupils were larger than usual. Could that be toxic shock or something? His regeneration had scared her, making her realize she didn’t know nearly enough about his biology to help him. “Something in the food? The drinks?”

“The drinks were brilliant! All fizzy and spicy,” he announced, smacking his lips. More of his weight was shifting to her as he tried to get to his feet properly. “What was that spicy taste, Rose? I liked it. Tasted familiar. Haven’t had it in yonks.” Another giggle escaped him. 

“The pink one or the clear ones?” 

“Clear,” he said, scrunching up his face. “Know I know that taste. Know it. Oh, ohhh, everything is spinning again, Rose...” he clung to her.

Much as she liked the feel of him clinging to her, they were going to collapse to the grating in a heap soon if he kept this up. Rose closed her eyes thinking about the spicy drink. “Tasted like ginger beer and cider mixed,” she told him. “I liked the pink one better.”

“Blech tasted like pears. Ginger!” he shouted, “Oh, ginger. That’s bad.”

Concerned, Rose gripped him tighter. “How bad? What do I do? What does ginger do to Timelords?”

“Oh, it’s very bad,” he whispered, Rose felt her heart get stuck in her mouth, before he announced, “I AM DRUNK! HA!” 

Rose resisted the urge to drop him to the floor. “Doctor! I’ve half a mind to leave you here and let you sleep it off! Drunk! I thought you were poisoned.”

He clung to her tighter. “I was. I am. I well, no, it just makes it… gingerols and shogaols make it hard for my frank, frankly magnificent biology to meatball, no, not that word, metabolize the alcohol.”

“So that’s why you wouldn’t eat the cake my mum made,” Rose exclaimed.

A look of disgust crossed his face, “That’s not why, Rose.” Then stage whispering in her ear, he elaborated, “your mother is a terrible baker.”

“Come on,” Rose said ignoring the blast of ginger scented breath warming her ear in favor of getting him through the doors to the interior of the Tardis. 

Her door was farther along the hall, closer to the galley. Rose stopped short... or it used to be. The door appeared three feet in front of her and swung open as they approached. She thanked the Tardis and felt a bit of warmth like earlier when she was under the water. She paused. Had the Tardis been helping her? The warmth in her mind glowed a bit brighter before retreating. Rose made a mental note to get the Tardis something nice in the future, after dealing with her Doctor.

Wrangling a drunk Timelord who was about a foot taller than you was difficult. She had done this for friends before, Mickey had been fond of pints, and Keisha had gone wild on the shots on her eighteenth. Still, this was a first. 

She pushed him down onto her bed. He sat hard staring up at her, a grin plastered on his face and eyelids at half-mast. He chortled to himself a bit and bounced a little on the edge of her bed. “When was the last time you were drunk?”

“Hundreds of years?” Genuinely puzzled, his face scrunched up again. “Long, long, long, long, long, long…” he trailed off.

Rose rolled her eyes indulgently. Reaching out she pushed his jacket off. He watched it drop off without comment. He didn’t start undressing and Rose realized she would have to help him out. He couldn’t sleep comfortably in his full kit. And he’d never forgive her if he threw up on his favorite tie. Rose ran a hand down his tie before loosening it. “What kind of date are you?” she teased. “You were the DD. Now, look at us, we’re trapped on an alien world until you sober up. No one would ever believe me. Mighty Timelord brought low by cider.”

He snickered. 

“What?” 

His eyes were full of mischief. “You called me your date.”

Rose flushed. It was just the drink talking. “Yeah well, cheap date. I think we skipped out on the check.” Rose got her fingers under his collar. He tipped his head forward allowing her to pull the tie off and toss it onto the chair. Her fingers shook a little as she attacked the buttons on his oxford. He didn’t seem to mind. “What you need is to sleep it off, Doctor.”

He scoffed. “You humans. You think sleep is a pan-pan-pan, the thing I made on New Earth. Our second date... CUREALL! I’m fine.” 

She pushed the oxford off. It was getting hot in here with all his talk about dates. They had both readily agreed to chips being their first date but he hadn’t been serious, had he? Rose kept her head down. No point in asking him anything right now.

“Am I supposed to be reciprocating in some way?” he asked, reaching out and pushing her denim jacket off her shoulders. It fell down, catching at her elbows. Rose exhaled sharply, taken by surprise. He was watching her, the corners of his mouth turned up. 

Rose shrugged it and the jacket, off. “No, I’m not the one who needs to sleep it off, am I?”

“You had three of the pear drinks.” He grimaced. “Pears are mushy, Rose,” he explained, “and they should be banned. Banned. Bannnnnnnnnnned.”

Rose pushed him over. He landed on his back with an oof. Rose stood up and grabbed her PJs out of a drawer while he struggled to focus. He rolled a bit like a turtle on its back. He puffed his hair out of his eyes. “Oh, it’s spinning again.”

“Put one foot firmly on the floor. I’m going to brush my teeth and change. Can you manage to get your shoes off?”

He nodded and moaned from the swift motion. 

“I’ll get you some water okay? Okay,” she muttered and shut herself in the bathroom.

The cooler air of the bathroom was a relief. Undressing the Doctor while she had a few drinks in her was the pinnacle of a bad idea. And he made it so much worse by being playful and drunk. Now that she wasn’t focused on helping him, she realized he was right. Her own balance was impaired as she attempted to brush her teeth. More concentration than usual was needed to get everything minty fresh.

Changed. Rose steeled herself before opening the door to the Doctor sprawled across the whole bed. He’d managed to get his shoes off and one sock before rolling onto his stomach. “Hi,” he drawled adding one zillion ‘i’s to the end of it. “You were gone forever.”

“Seriously, it was like ten seconds.”

“Seriously, ten seconds can be an eternity to a Timelord,” he intoned.

Rose handed him a glass of water. “Drink this.”

He sipped it before putting it on her nightstand. “I’m sort of enjoying this.” He slapped the bed. “C’mon. Get in, I warmed the bed up.”

Yes, yeah he did. Rose puffed out a breath. “Alright,” Rose moved to the other side of the bed since he was taking up the side she usually slept on. He reached out and grabbed her. “That’s my side. This is your side.”  
“This is my bed,” Rose reminded him, “all the sides are mine.”

“I always sleep on that side, Rose,” he cajoled.

“Budge up then.”

Reluctantly, he let go of her leg and rolled onto his side. Rose climbed into the bed, staying on top of the covers. Her skin was a bit heated from her own drinks. The Doctor faced her, head propped up on one hand, watching her. “So…”

“So?” 

“Are you tired? I’m not. I feel energized, yet slow, and a bit,” he made a few sounds that were not English. “Whoops, no not (musical sounds) more like (slightly different vaguely Celtic sounds.) Is that normal do ya think?”

Rose burst out laughing. She couldn’t help it. He had such an adorably confused expression on his face and he expected her to know what weird alien words meant? She gave in to the urge to pet him. A happy noise escaped him and he tilted his head forward to allow better access. When she stopped he made a disappointed snort, his eyes staying closed for a few seconds longer. 

“I like Drunk Doctor.” Rose reached for the glass of water and drank some of it. 

“That was mine.” He reached for the glass.

“Share and share-alike. I am letting you share my bed.” Rose closed her mouth as her cheeks heated up. That was not the sentence she had wanted to let out. Too suggestive. Luckily he just tittered before taking the glass from her nerveless fingers.

He sipped judiciously before handing it back. Smacking his lips he winked at her. “Sharing is good!”

Rose watched as he went back to watching her with his head in his hand. His right hand reached out and draped over her waist. He tugged a bit until Rose moved closer and he could wrap his arm around her waist properly. He muttered something she couldn’t understand before saying, “Rose Tyler, you are my very best friend.”

“Yeah, you’re mine. You’re going to have such a hangover in the morning,” she sang.  
He sniffed. “Never. Superior Bi-”

“Biology, yeah alright, heard that one before.” Rose rolled her eyes. “When you’re moaning in the morning, don’t call me.”

He grinned and reached out to run a hand through her hair. Rose’s brain shut off for a second. He happily raised a second hand before messing up her hair. Rose rolled away from him. The Doctor giggled to himself. 

“How’s your head,” he asked, mood shifting. “The water hive was in there. They changed you today…”

“You changed me back. M’fine. Besides the queen was in your head and you messed them all up. How’s your head?” Rose turned it on him.

A soft smile crossed his face. “Fine. Everything feels (musical sounds.) It’s nice.”

“Okay whatever that means.”

“Sides, can’t just pop into your mind whenever I’ve had a bad day,” he remarked, “Cassandra was one-off. Special dispensation from the rules. Psychografts hurt. Today was invasive but not compression and invasion. Still, what’s with everyone wanting access to our minds, hey? Don’t they know how inappropriate that is? No one teaches them consent in schools?” he grumbled.

Rose rolled to look him in the eye. He winked the left eye. Waited. Winked the right eye. Rose stared. “Consent?”

“Mh hm,” he agreed. “S’wrong to just (Celtic sounding words,) I mean imagine that happening on earth, someone would go to prison. Lots of someones would go to prison.” He rolled onto his back.

“You talk about it like it’s sex,” Rose told him and watched his pale skin turn pink. He mumbled something and rolled away from her. Rose leaned over him. “OH MY GOD, IT IS! Telepathy is like intimate to your people, isn’t it?”

He mumbled something into his pillow. Rose shook him, giggling. “Oh my God! So, when I let you hang out in my mind it was like what for you? Copping a feel?”

“Rose!” he moaned into the pillow. “Nooooo! Stop it.”

“It is, isn’t it?” Rose roared with laughter. Maybe it was the drink but the whole idea that Timelords would just hang out touching like Vulcans tickled her fancy. She fell away from the Doctor, subsiding into giggles. “God, do you even do the other stuff? You told me you did. Were you talking about mind melds or whatever?”

He pulled the pillow and dropped it over his head. The Doctor mumbled something. Rose pulled the pillow away and hit him in the back with it. “What?” she asked.

“I said, don’t cheapen it, Rose, it’s very…” he trailed off, red as a lobster now.

“Intimate,” she sang and he groaned.

“You are ruining being drunk for me.” He stated.

Giggling, Rose slapped him with the pillow again. He grunted. Rose sat up to get a better grip on the pillow. The Doctor took the opportunity to smack her in the face with her own pillow. The breath whooshed out of her. They slapped each other with pillows in a ridiculous battle. Rose fell backward as a particularly good whack got her square in the face. The Doctor dropped her pillow on top of her face and reclaimed his own, only to hug it as he lay back down. They caught their breath.

“What um, do humans normally do when they’re inebriated?” 

“Um, make poor decisions, mostly.”

“Hm.” The Doctor rolled to regard her. “Is that smart?”

“Nope,” she replied, rolling to mirror him.

“I’m never drunk,” he remarked.

“Liar, you’re drunk right now,” Rose replied and booped his nose.

“Never, usually, ever drunk then. Don’t argue semantics with me, Rose Tyler. I invented semantics.”

“Right,” she mocked.  
“I did,” he growled.

“I believe you..”

“Sarcastically, Rose.” The Doctor had his pouty lower lip jutted out.

“A smidgeon of sarcasm, surely,” she said. “C’mon.”

His dark eyes watched her. Rose felt the change in the air. His moods were always shifting. This one felt thick and heavy. He said nothing, just staring. Rose hoped he wasn’t a philosophical drunk. She couldn’t remember a single one right now and she hated feeling stupid in front of him. “Rose…”

“Mm?”

“I can’t kiss you,” he murmured sadly.

Rose started. “What are you on about?” she asked and realized that wasn’t the question she wanted to ask, “Why not?”

His expression mournful, he replied, “because it’s your turn. And you have Mickey.”

“No, I don’t. He’s been dating Tricia Delaney off and on. She’s pretty. Things went off a long time ago. My turn?”

“Yep,” he said, popping the ‘p’ adorably. “I kissed you in Rome. S’your turn.”

Rose felt a rush of warmth that had very little to do with the drinks she had earlier. “Are we-are we taking turns?”

He nodded, eyes wide, guileless. “You kissed me on New Earth.”

“Cassandra kissed you on New Earth with my body, doesn’t count,” Rose replied, touching her hot cheeks.

“Then it’s double your turn,” he told her. 

“Wait, you only kissed me once.” Rose was sitting up. “Rome.”

“Right. Yes, right. You’re right. No other time, right.” he said with a little smirk. 

He was lying. He had kissed her on another occasion. Rose felt weird as if she should know about it. The warmth in her mind increased, reassuring her. Rose refocused her attention on her drunk friend. 

“Do you want me to kiss you?” she asked, glad the alcohol was bolstering her confidence.

“Do you want me to want you to kiss me?” he countered.

Rose rolled her eyes and dropped down on her back. “Well, if you’re going to be difficult, forget it.”

The Doctor was silent. Rose fidgeted, unsure how to handle tonight. She did want to kiss him. She thought he might want her to kiss him. Should she? The skin of her lips tingled as if anticipating it. She let out a strangled growl before falling silent herself. The lights went out, plunging them into darkness. Rose evened out her breathing. Her pounding heart slowed the longer the Doctor stayed silent. The moment had passed which was good. He was drunk. Lots of friends got flirty when drunk. It didn’t mean anything. Tomorrow he would be mortified about what he said tonight. Resolved, she closed her eyes.

“It’s along the same lines as me touching your breasts,” the Doctor said into the dark.

“What?!”

“Telepathy… it’s akin to me erm.” he trailed off.

“God! No. Stop. Go to sleep, Doctor.” Rose shouted as her body flooded with heat. 

“Right.” The silence stretched out like taffy then, “I’m just saying, if we were looking for an equivalency, me being in your mind like that is akin to me…” he chirruped awkwardly.

“No, no, no,” Rose growled. “Stop talking. Just. No.”

A giggle escaped him. “Goodnight, Rose.”

Rose let out a frustrated growl.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you're enjoying the progression. This happens after The Feast of the Drowned. Get the audio. It's worth it. I promise you.


End file.
